Photo by Margaret Chant and edited by Jessica Metropulos

Friday, May 29, 2009

Trusting the Process...

One of those things we're taught in PNH is to trust the process, and it's something I've struggled with in waves since developing myself as a horsewoman. While I was in FL, I was totally receptive to whatever was said to me, and I totally trusted everyone I was with. Since, it's been in waves, as usual.

Today, I had a reminder about trusting the process that I wanted to share. I just found out last weekend that I was selected for a savvy spotlight, as I had blogged earlier. I hadn't choreographed much of anything other than my savvy, what I wanted in the arena, and my music, since I wanted to consult with Farrah about it. Today, we finally got a chance to play with it for the first time.

Well...long story short, it didn't go very well. Prin was wild and a bit distracted (first time in this particular arena, brand spanking new, with rubber shaved footing, to add weirdness to the whole situation.), and honestly, I couldn't get a whole lot accomplished. I came out feeling like I had a knot of tension in my stomach, and though I wasn't upset, angry, or frustrated, I didn't feel...good. I felt like I wasn't going to do very well if sessions kept up like that.

Then, as I was walking out, Farrah said something in response to my declaration of the above feelings. She said "Fran...I don't care what she does right now, this is about YOU. YOU need to understand, and YOU need to go through and get a feel for it. Don't stress, today is a terrible day to play with this anyway." (They're prepping for grand opening here tomorrow).

Wait. Stop. I need to learn this. Right. Duh. Process. Memorization doesn't happen all at once. Of course. So. With that in mind, take two on Sunday. Woohoo!

Also, my friend Olivia wrote something to me a couple days ago that really hit home with me that I'd like to share, too. I have a tendency to be in director mode when I ride, which is great as long as I can keep my head on straight, and not turn into a dictator. What Olivia said made me realize just how much I need to support Prin, but not push, now more than ever.

"Remember, you're never alone in front of thousands of've got Prin."

~Olivia Mayer

I cried. I will not lie.

So, anyway, we'll keep going and see what happens. It WILL be a good experience.

Savvy on, off to go feed, shower, wipe tables, and get ready for dinner--sushi :D


Tina said...

You won't be'll have all of us there rooting for you!

Amanda said...

best of luck fran you will do amazing!!! i know you will :)... post video as soon as you get home i know you will do awesome!! smile have fun you will do great!

coc_parelli said...

Awww...Franny! You're going to make me cry! :) Glad I helped! Wish I could have been there to watch you guys though. :(

Kansas City we'll have to meet up!!!