Photo by Margaret Chant and edited by Jessica Metropulos

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Behold the Powers of an Attitude Adjustment!

I want to just comment on this:

This girl is probably the most talented young PNHer I know. Every time she puts a video out, I watch and my jaw drops. She's more consistent in drawing that effect in me than Pat and Linda are.

Anyway, more than being an awesome girl (She's 14, and that little chestnut with the star is a 2 year old!) with awesome relationship-building skills, Hannah's also a fantastic reminder of what I need to do for myself. She put up a post a couple days ago on her blog in which she talked about a question I had asked her. She had been struggling with her horse Blaze's attitude, even in undemanding sessions, and I asked her "Are you doing the undemanding time for him, or are you doing it because you feel like it's necessary to change him?" This is a question they asked us OVER AND OVER AND OVER at the center. Not specifically that, but more "Are you doing it for the horse, or TO the horse?". By the same token, we're constantly reminded that "It's not about the ___, it's about the relationship."

I suppose this is the first "growth" from the seeds planted in my head at the center, but this video, combined with that blog post, combined with what's happened at our farm the past few days REALLY got me thinking. I apologize if you have trouble following--I'm thinking in segues tonight, and have A LOT on my mind.

I digress (I promise I'll get back to it in a minute) I've been to the farm every day for hours at a time since I've been home, and I've been really hesitant to DO anything. Not entirely sure why, I'm still trying to figure it out, but I think it's because I'm honestly trying to acclimate and introduce my little piece of "Parelli bubble" to my "home bubble". I have all these thoughts and things I did at the center with my horse that I want to do at home, but I don't know HOW to do it. The Parelli Center is magical like that. People ask me "What'd you learn?", and I don't know! Or rather, I don't know how to express it! But it shows in the relationship with my horses. Prin has left the herd and whatever she was doing and come trotting and whinnying to me every day since I've been home. She's been BEGGING for me to play with her. And this behavior is starting to catch on Crest, too.

So, how does this connect with Hannah? I've seen a lot of task-orientedness since I've gotten home. Auditions being submitted only for a string, a list of tasks being checked off, a person asking what new "Things" I learned to "DO" with my horse, hell, even a fantastic young horse woman asking me "What can I do to make my horse do this?" Hannah's stuff represents to me someone making a conscious effort to be with her horse for the sake of a relationship (and from something I SAID!) and since being home, I'm seeing how much MY attitude has changed in the same way. My horse NEVER used to RUN to me (she's an LBI!) and talk like that! I want that so much more and appreciate that so much more. I'm really learning what it's like to truly "walk my talk", as the faculty would phrase it, and it feels so good!

I've been asked a dozen times "When are you submitting your audition?"...Audition? Oh yeah, that. Um...whenever I guess? Make no mistake, I'm still intent on passing my L3, and L4, but more important than that right now is establishing that relationship right now. I've realized that I don't want to look back on my L3 journey and go "My God, where did it go? I put my horse through hell for the sake of a string, and WHY?!"

Tying in a little, Kristi Smith, an instructor on the faculty, and a newly-found personal mentor of mine, gave me some fantastic advice in one of a couple really great conversations we had. She said (and this is the gist, not verbatim) "Fran, I look at you and I see a huge drive, talent, and lots of dedication, but you've got to slow down and just LIVE YOUR LIFE, lady! You have MAYBE 2 years of your 'childhood' left, if you STRETCH it. The fact that you are who you are is awesome, you've found your passion, but slow down and appreciate it a little! Go play with your horse! Have some fun!" Have some fu---WHAT?! No, no time for that! It's about my goals and my future! It's about the stri--NO IT'S NOT!

So. Fran is no longer going to be on a quest for a damn green string. Farrah made her point quite clearly "I have two, want to borrow one?" No, I don't, I want to earn my own. The string represents a great relationship, not a bunch of well-performed tasks. That's the green string I want.

And this is not to say I'm not concerned with my future anymore. No, that's still really important to me. But I have a much renewed faith in that if I build a strong relationship base now (and not just with horses, but with the people surrounding and influencing me too!) when I'm 21 years old, I won't have to work my tail off to get where i need to, because it will have falling into place as I went along.

Savvy on. I'm going to do something with my horses tomorrow, I think. Lord knows they've been begging!

Thanks for reading, and again, sorry to be so scattered. As I said earlier, one of the planted seeds in my head just burst into full growth.


Emma Lee said...

OMG I KNOW! I watch EVERY video she puts up, it's amazing!

savvydesign said...

Great post Fran!! :D

Tina said...

Good for you, Fran!

Aleesha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aleesha said...

Love your posts keep them comeing!!!

savvyknight said...

Fran you are the best and awesome person in the world!!!!!!!

me and blaze being closer is because of you!

coc_parelli said...

Well said Fran! :)


Mariah Helms said...

AMAZING Fran, THANK YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!

Randa said...

Wow!! I just read your post and I am AMAZED!! You're post really helped me. I have so many dreams with my horse, and I want to AUdition for this and that...but after reading your post, I realize now why my horse is acting differently when I play with her. Why she is pulling me towards the gate now, and not trying (which she hasn't done that in a long time, but the last time I played with her, that's what she did) I have gotten too direct line about Auditioning and getting "tasks" down,and getting Levels accomplsihed in Freestyle, etc. and I haven't put much time into our RELATIONSHIP. Thank you very, VERY much!! Savvy On,
~Randa~ & ~Brizzee~

Stephanie said...

Fran, how old are you?? This was one of the most well thought out and profound statements I've ever read. Good on you! A lot of people talk about putting principles before purpose but it's rare that they really do it. In the end, you and Prin will soar!